Joe Agoglia

reflections on grief and loss

The year 2003 will always be a year to remember. It started off with much excitement. The 1st of January was the day I was finally on my own and running my company. No longer did I have a steady pay check, excellent medical benefits, a 401k package, and the security of making a living. Besides my faith in God, I was now responsible for my own source of income and the success of my company. But I was ready for the challenge.

Months leading up to the new year, I had several discussions with my father about this new phase of my life. Just like he helped my brother get his company off the ground, he assured me he would do the same for me. I needed his help. I needed a trusted mentor who would look out for me, someone to be my guide. And who better for that role than my dad. Having more than 36 years in the corporate sector, people all across the globe sought him out for his advice. Now I needed his.

Four months later, my world of adventure and ambition came to an abrupt holt. From the moment he was diagnosed to the day he left this world, I watched a very special man die with immeasurable grace and dignity. I will never forget the emotions I carried during those six, tumultuous weeks: of fear, hope, laughter, anger, frustration, and then, ultimately, disappointment with the physicians, God, even myself.

Life has never been the same since his departure. When my father passed away, a part of me died. Every person who has experienced this before will share that same feeling. At the same time, just as wheat must die before it can bear good fruit, I trust my life is following a similar progression. But it takes time and I must be patient, for growth will come from what is apparently a bad situation.

I've concluded that my father's life was a parable. You see, whenever you read a parable, you never really find closure. Yes, the story has an ending, but the truth behind the story is for you to discover. The summation or moral truth is still in the waiting. It's somewhere buried within that treasure chest of your heart. And for those of us who have lost a parent or close loved one, our lives lack closure also.

Personally, this process of healing is really an invitation to listen. I have no clue as to why my father had to leave this world so soon, at such a young age. His life brought great meaning to many. But through this, I trust God is speaking somehow to me. I don't hear an audible voice and thankfully so. That's too easy. God is calling me to something much more intimate, something authentic. Amidst my busy schedule, He is calling me to listen to his voice and discover many wonderful treasures that I would never learn if my earthly father were still with me. As I pause, I can listen better and discover the wonderful "gifts" my father imparted to me. I know with certainly that if my father was alive today, I would never have the same level of appreciation for his life. Every day that passes, I find that I miss him even more. That doesn't dissipate with time. However, the more I miss him, the more I realize his presence was a special gift to me. I pray my life will somehow touch others that way before I die.

This website is my father's story. During the course of his absence, I've attempted to extract and learn wonderful principles from losing such a great person. At the same time, this site is about my journey. As a result of my father's "walk" with me, my life has become a parable. You might be surprised, but my father still walks with me on a daily basis. We just meet at the crossroads of my heart.

As you read further, may you find healing through the pain, and, hope to live a life that honors your loved ones.

Learn more about my dad - Joseph Agoglia.

  • It's easy to compare your grief to someone else. But you are not them, and theyíre not you. No two losses are ever the same. Itís ok to question this yo-yo process. Youíre normal; the process isnít! There are others, like myself, who have tasted the loss of someone very close to us. When you're ready (and you'll know when you are), find someone who will take the time to listen to you. Share your wounds and allow God to begin that healing process.

  • Jan 24, 2020