stories about my father

If You Could See Me Now

It seemed to be a tradition in my family that whenever I returned home to visit, whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring break, or a small stint in the summer, I always brought with me new music to share with my family. In fact, it was one of the first things I did when I arrived at the house.

Years ago, I set up an surround sound system for my parents in our living room. It allowed us to watch movies and listen to music in a whole new realm. So listening to the music in our living room allowed my family to appreciate the beauty of what I had discovered. After they listened to the song(s), I would tell them how we could possibly use it in other contexts.

To live in hearts we leave is not to die. - Thomas Campbell

I know - I'm strange in that sense. But I really love music. It brings something out of me. Music inspires me to dream, to imagine or even conceptualize ideas or thoughts where mere words fail to capture what's inside. It allows me to tap into what I'm feeling or experiencing at any given moment. I'm sure you've had the experience of hearing a song and immediately, a powerful memory comes to your awareness. That happens so often to me. Sometimes a song is connected to a person; others times it's tied to a powerful event in my past.

Music will always be a part of my life. But to listen to music alone is only half the experience. For me, it's sharing a certain song or band with someone else that I find so meaningful. When someone tells me they have a favorite movie or song, I'll usually ask them why it is so special. Why? Because it's a small window into that person's heart. It reflects something very deep and very personal and, if you're really listening, you'll find a hidden treasure.

On one occasion, I came home from college and shared a song with my dad. It was actually a single, not an entire CD, of a song that touched my heart. I told him that in one sense it was very sad but, in a very real sense, it offered hope for all of us. The song was inspired by the loss of a friend and the tragedy of that person's passing. But the writer of the song wrote it from the perspective of the one who was now in the presence of God. Very interesting.

Since my father passed away, we have found several reminders of my father's familiar presence in our lives. Some of the things he purposefully left behind speak to us in very measurable ways. Here is just one example. About six months ago, I found this song with an attached message. Upon finding the tape, I was quickly reminded of the message behind the song. Tears welled up in my eyes because this was the specific song I shared with him. Yet I never thought, that almost ten years later, he would return the tape to me as a reminder of his current state of being.

The days seem so long without my father. I sure do miss him terribly. Yet, as I carefully listen to the song and allow the words to pour over my heart, I'm reminded that he's ok and in a much better place than we.

Our prayers have all been answered / I finally arrived / The healing that had been delayed / Has now been realized / No one's in a hurry / There's no schedule to keep / We're all enjoying Jesus / Just sitting at his feet

(Chorus) If you could see me now / I'm walking streets of gold / If you could see me now / I'm standing tall and whole / If you could see me now / You'd know I've seen his face / If you could see me now / You'd know the pain is erased.

You wouldn't want me / To ever leave this place / If you could only see me now

My light and temporary trials / Have worked out for my good / To know it brought Him glory / When I misunderstood / Though we've had our sorrows / They can never compare / What Jesus has in store for us / No language can share

You wouldn't want me / To ever leave this perfect place / If you could only see me now / If you could see me now / If you could only see me now.

Kim Noblitt © 1992 Integrity's Praise