questions i wish i could ask my father now

Questions are significant companions. They're like guides that lead us through murky terrains. Sometimes they lead us to some magnificent discoveries about our world, our relationships, or about ourselves. But sometimes our questions just baffle us, leaving us at the curb of a dead-end circle. Even so, I believe we were designed to inquire, to ascertain our surroundings, and come to our own conclusions. It's part of the human makeup. Just think, if inventors never asked questions, most of the things we take for granted today would still be dreams. During my clinical training, I learned the value of asking great questions because good questions lead to great answers. For those who know me well enough, you know that I love to understand what I don't know.

Somebody ought to tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit every minute of every day. Do it, I say, whatever you want to do, do it now. - Michael Landon

This section was birthed while I was walking my dog, just a few days before Christmas of 2005. Since my dad's passing, I've had many questions that I've wanted to ask him. Fathers can offer timely insights on particular matters, whether they're big or small. I could always go to my father whenever I had a question or an issue that needed some clarification. He always had something good for me to think about, even if he didn't have an answer or it wasn't the answer I was looking for. Often, his answers forced me to re-think an issue, even the question, in a new way - usually, a better way. Although I may not have answers to most of these questions, I feel it's perfectly healthy to ask. BTW, after reading several books and reflecting on heaven, the assumptions and conclusions I once had about heaven are quite different nowadays. Therefore, where I once felt confident about my own conclusions regarding the afterlife, I'm much more comfortable knowing that we really don't know much about heaven. So I believe, we will all be surprised at what we see and who we meet when we arrive.


  1. What did you experience the moment you passed from this life into eternity? What did you see? Who was there?
  2. What's heaven like?
  3. Where is heaven located? Are there specific dimensions or is it spatially endless?
  4. What about these streets of gold or gates made of pearls? Are these realities or simply a metaphor of the magnificence of heaven?
  5. Have you had an opportunity to take a walk, alone, with Jesus?
  6. What does a relationship with Christ now look like in heaven as compared to the challenge of having a so-called relationship with him on earth?
  7. Do you get to see what's going on down here?
  8. Now that you "see" things from the perspective of eternity, what things would you have done differently down here knowing what you know now?
  9. When our pets pass on, are they rejoined with us? (I've thought about Kole and his future with us.)
  10. If animals are part of the new world, will they be able to communicate with us as well as understand our heavenly language?
  11. Have you gotten to see Grandpa "Garage", Grandpa "Needle," Great Grandma Agoglia, Aunt Molly, Grandma Marge (your mother), Uncle Dick, and many other relatives yet?
  12. Have you met other relatives that passed on before you were ever born?
  13. Are gardens a part of heaven? Can you grow your own vegetables? Are there new forms of fruits and vegetables?
  14. Do we eat and drink like on earth? Is eating and drinking experienced an entirely new way? Or is that function no longer necessary?
  15. What about wine? If we can drink, is wine a part of heaven? Scripture tells us Christ used wine in his very first public miracle (i.e., water turned into wine).
  16. Are their such things as celebrations as is the case with birthdays or anniversaries? Since heaven doesn't exist in time, are New Year celebrations a thing of the past?
  17. Do you celebrate some form of Christmas? What about Easter?
  18. Are there sunsets and sunrises? What about the moon?
  19. Can you explain to me the whole idea of eternal treasures?
  20. Assuming this has happened already, what was it like seeing your parents again?
  21. Do you get to go swimming, play in the snow, or experience rainfall?
  22. Do you ever get to go sleigh-riding or have snowball "fights"?
  23. Are there seasons in heaven? Or, is the climate always the same?
  24. What about guardian angels? Do you know if any have been commissioned to us?
  25. Are their mountains, rivers, lakes, water falls, oceans, magnificent fields/pastures, and many wonderful sites to see everyday?
  26. How old are we when we get to heaven? Is there an ideal age?
  27. What about babies that die prematurely? Do they stay an infant throughout eternity or are they grown and given an "ideal" age?
  28. Do we still have emotions and have the capacity to feel like we do here on earth?
  29. Do we still have desires?
  30. Can we still laugh? Can we make others laugh? What does joy look like in heaven as compared to earthly joy?
  31. Is heaven the final place or is there something more, perhaps an extension to heaven, something like we have here on earth with our space programs?
  32. Can you still get suntans, at least without the worry of skin cancer? (may seem like a vain question, but my question is not getting at our looks as it is our new bodies.)
  33. What do our bodies look like? Do we gain supernatural-like abilities?
  34. Do we still work? If so, do we ever get tired?
  35. Is there a need to ever rest? What about sleeping? Is there such a thing as the Sabbath?
  36. Are we still identified as male or female?
  37. What about those mansions Christ was developing? Are those simply metaphors? Or are there real structures?
  38. If we have our own places called homes, do we still invite people over as guests?
  39. Can we still build and enjoy wonderful fires like we had at our home or when we went camping?
  40. Are other creatures a part of heaven?
  41. Will dinosaurs be a part of heaven? We had them at some point in our human history.
  42. Will we continue to learn and grow?
  43. Can we reflect on our own experiences?
  44. Do our natural (earthy) gifts transfer into heaven? If they do, are they perfected? Can we learn new talents or do we have access to every gift available?
  45. Is there such a thing as healthy disagreements in heaven?
  46. Is the Bible still necessary? Since scripture is the mind of God, is it something wired within our new heavenly bodies?
  47. Can we remember things that happened on earth? If we can recall our past, how do we remember and process painful experiences?
  48. Since heaven is outside earthly time, can we still capture particular moments just as we do with our digital cameras or DVR cam corders?
  49. Do you still dream? Or is every dream fulfilled?
  50. Are the arts a part of heaven? Is there entertainment? What about technology?
  51. What does worship look like? How is it similar to our modes of worship here on earth? How is it different?
  52. Is music a part of worship? Is everything we do in heaven a reflection of our worship for God?
  53. Do we play sports? Is there such a thing as healthy competition? Are there winners and so-called "losers?"
  54. What about musical instruments? If there are instruments, do we use some of the same ones we have on earth? Are there new ones in heaven?
  55. I've always wanted to learn to play the piano or even write my own short film. Is that something we can master in heaven? Is it automatically obtained or do we grow in such skills?
  56. Can we still write loves songs or letters as an expression of our love and appreciation for others?
  57. Will we have the opportunity to publicly stand before Christ and all the heavenly hosts and thank those who have touched our lives while on earth?
  58. Are there such things as secrets? Or does everyone know everything?
  59. What about writing? Can we write poetry, great novels (fiction or non-fiction), even memoirs? Can we share great and inspiring stories of our earthly lives or even new experiences we have in heaven?
  60. What does communication look like? Is it verbal, written, digital, telepathic, other forms, or a mixture of all of them? Where do non-verbal cues fall in?
  61. What about the differences in the way males and females communicate? Do we do a better job in heaven? Or do we fully understand one another?
  62. What do "our rewards" look like in heaven?
  63. Have you seen the "Lambs Book of Life"?
  64. Have you met the disciples? What about Paul the Apostle, John, the best friend of Christ? What about Adam and Eve?
  65. Do we still have only five senses? Do we gain more? Can we still smell, taste, see, hear, and touch like we do on earth? Are these senses perfected?
  66. What is like to exist in a perfected state? What is like without sinning?
  67. Is there such a thing as freedom of choice or the capacity to think independently or make choices, but now in a perfected state?
  68. How do we relate to one another? Do we naturally connect with some more than others, or do we relate to everyone the same?
  69. What about those who were once married? Do you stay married in heaven, or is that relationship no longer valid? Even if you're no longer married, do you still identify your spouse as someone you once had a unique relationship with?
  70. What does intimacy look like? How is it experienced?
  71. What about those who once hurt us or even rejected us on earth? Is there a moment of reconciliation, or have we already forgiven others?
  72. What about those individuals we've hurt? If we never got that opportunity to ask that person(s) to forgive us, can we ask for their forgiveness in heaven?
  73. What about those who were aborted on earth and never had a chance at living an earthly life? To experience what it's like to be in a family, go to school, have a hobby, have a career, and then start their own family?
  74. What about those infants who were born but lived only a short time on earth?
  75. What about martyrs? Are they given special recognition for their loyalty to our Lord, even to the point of death?
  76. Do we have specific roles in heaven, just like we have unique vocations on earth?
  77. What are reunions like? In other words, when I die, what is it like being rejoined with our loved ones?
  78. How do we find our way around heaven? Is there some unique signage?
  79. Will there be a time where we can sit with Christ and see why things happened (on earth) and the reasoning behind each event? Will we have the ability to ask questions or will we already know the answers?
  80. Is there one universal language, or will we still keep our earthly languages and still understand one another?
  81. Are our cultural backgrounds shared with one another, or is everyone in one harmonious family.
  82. Will we be able to create new memories and thus remember them?
  83. What does creativity look like in heaven? Can we still create new and wondrous things?
  84. Are walks and hikes a part of heaven?
  85. Can you still skip a rock, slide in the mud, and do a lot of fun things?
  86. During My Father's Illness

  87. What specific thoughts were going through your mind when you were battling your disease?
  88. Were you ever scared?
  89. At what point did you know that God was calling you home?
  90. What was your perspective of suffering while you were on earth? What is it now?
  91. What was it like losing your ability to physically speak?
  92. While tears streamed down your face, what were you feeling and thinking on Father's Day? (He was only a few weeks into his illness)
  93. What were you feeling when you said your last goodbye to mother?
  94. Personal

  95. Do you know the moments when I think of you?
  96. Whenever I pray, are you aware that I'm praying?
  97. Are you ever aware of how much I miss your presence?
  98. If we were given one hour alone, what advice would you give me now?
  99. If you could tell mom something today, what would you tell her? What advice would you give Kristian or Tad?
  100. Do you ever get to see any of my work or any of my new projects? (I miss your invaluable input and sharing those things with you.)
  101. Scripture tells us the poor and widows have a special place in our Lord's heart. From what I've seen, it seems like its just a lot of pain and loss. Can you explain more of that to me?